New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
