if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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