Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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