Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize