hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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