i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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