dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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