The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
