I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize