just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
