Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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