Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
