he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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