I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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