No awkward lesbian experiences without me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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