"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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