you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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