and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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