There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
