i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
