So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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