Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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