I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
