is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize