Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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