he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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