possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
