Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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