So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
