i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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