KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
