turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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