she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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