He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
