yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
