I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
