He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
