Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
