i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
