sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You are a genius and a whore.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
