I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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