Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize