tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize