I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
