anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize