You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
