Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
