You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He did a backflip because drugs
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
