And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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