Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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