The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
These tits shall not be calmed
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize