i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
