Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
