I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
