I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
