Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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