you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
