IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
