hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Randomize
