I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
