Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
