Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
