all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
