the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So much Jack, so little girl.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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