Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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