I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My ass is underappreciated
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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