I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
