I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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