You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
