I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
