isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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