just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize