new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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