yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
