Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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