Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
