You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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