the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
